Welcome to the 21st century
by SilvernovaX
Summary: The Inuyasha cast is brought to the year 2003 where they are exposed to modern technology. How will our feudal era friends cope with this? Will Inuyasha stop thinking the TV is trying to kill him? all these answered inside!
1. Default Chapter

hi everyone! this is my second stab at a comedy story, since the first one sucked. anyways, disclaimer- i don't own any Inuyasha characters except for Rena. the only characters not included in the story is jaken, rin, kaede. so enjoy and review my story!  
  
A girl in her late teens sits in front of a large computer, madly typing away at the keyboard. An evil grin cracks across her face as she melodramatically presses the 'Enter' button. Suddenly, she is brought back from cloud nine as the phone rings.  
  
"Eh?" She says in surprise as she wildly looks around, "Now where is that bloody phone?" She gets up, beginning her daily hunt for her phone. She enters the bathroom to find her phone floating in the toilet.  
  
"How the hell did it get there?" The girl mutters as she grabbed it. She grimaces as she holds it to her ear, "Hello?"  
  
A sharp male voice speaks, "Rena, have you secured the codes?"  
  
"Yeah, just a few seconds ago." Rena drily responded.  
  
"Now, I expect you to behave-" He started.  
  
"Yes, I know." Rena interjected testily.  
  
"Alright." he said and hung up.  
  
Suddenly, an explosion comes from the computer room. Instead of looking shocked, Rena was quite giddy, "Yes! It worked!" She runs into the room, coming to a skidding halt, marveling the sight before her. The whole Inuyasha group stands before her (including the baddies). She looks as if she's going to burst with happiness and Inuyasha stupidly sticks his finger in his ear and observes the wax.  
  
"Er" Kagome says to break the ice.  
  
"What is this place? Certainly doesn't look like my hairdresser's salon." Sesshomaru sneers, looking reproachfully around the metal room.  
  
"Where are we?" Naraku inquired rudely.  
  
Rena finally retains a straight face and says business like, "You have been extracted from your time and brought to the year 2003. You are in Revolution Headquarters, fulfilling your entertainment needs since 1925."  
  
For awhile no one says anything until Miroku asks, "Are you single?"  
  
Rena looks taken aback and chooses not to reply. Clearing her throat, she plows on, "You will be staying here for the period of two weeks in our approved habitat."  
  
"Why the hell should we do that?" Kikyo snaps.  
  
"Well you see..." Rena says. The metal platform they're standing on slides away, revealing a floor of glass. Under the glass, mutated squirrels with fangs and claws jump around, "Here is the pit of out genetically enhanced squirrels, trained to bite women with their venomous fangs. And they neuter the men." All the males turn white at the prospect.  
  
"Um, isn't that against the law?" Kagome asks in a trembling voice.  
  
"Neutering? No." Then Rena sees their eyebrows raising, "Oh you mean squirrels biting you? I don't care much for laws."  
  
"Can you just drop Miroku in?" Sango requests.  
  
"If he disagrees, then yes." Rena replies, while Miroku looks appalled and harassed. Continuing, "So have you reached a decision?" All the men immediately say yes, though Shippo doesn't know what neutering is, he also agrees. The women take a bit longer, but in the end, finally agree.  
  
"Excellent! Now let me lead you to your rooms." Rena says and claps her hands together. She leads them down the hallway until they reach two doors. She points to her right and says, "Here is the women's dorm." All the girls and Sesshomaru go in. Everyone looks distrubed that Sesshomaru had gone in.  
  
"I always thought he was a guy. He, I mean she had us fooled." Koga said and shook his head.  
  
Rena goes in and pulls him out, "Um, if you haven't noticed, you're a guy. I don't care if you're a transvestite, but you're still going in the men's dorm." Sesshomaru looks upset as Rena hauls him into the men's dorm.  
  
"Now, you will stay in your dorms for the rest of the day, and tomorrow, I'll give you my instructions." Rena says and leaves.  
  
Men's dorm...  
  
6:45 p.m.  
  
Hidden cameras show Inuyasha in the bathroom, perplexed over the toothpaste. He squeezes it and large amounts of toothpaste splatter over his face, "AARGH! DAMN MINTY FRESH GOO!" Miroku looks disgruntled and looks up from his 'Playboy' magazine. Kouga stops gnawing the TV. Sesshomaru accidentally pokes himself in the eye with his mascara brush. Naraku gives a loud snore from his bunk. Shippo drops the beer bottle he discovered in the fridge.  
  
"Inuyasha. some of us are busy, so you keep it down in there!" Sesshomaru yells as he rubs his watery eye.  
  
Inuyasha curses and rubs the toothpaste out. He then walks over to observe the toilet...  
  
Women's dorm  
  
8:15 p.m.  
  
There is much tension in the air. Kagome and Sango glare at Kikyo, who glares back.  
  
"I'm getting a soda." Kagome finally declares, and gets up.  
  
"What's a soda?" Sango asks and follows.  
  
"Now that they're gone, I can finally plot against them." Kikyo mumbles maniacally. She takes out a piece of paper and starts scribbling her plan.  
  
Sango looks at the soda can and shakes it. The second she opens it, fizz and soda blow up on her face.  
  
"I told you it was a bad idea." Kagome says a matter of factly.  
  
Sango wipes the remaining soda off, "Um, anymore soda left?"  
  
Kagome looks suspicious as she hands her a second can. She walks back into the room to see Kikyo had gone to the bathroom. She picks up a piece of paper thats supposed to be Kikyo's evil plan. Its three stick figures drawn in what seems suspiciously like blood. The first one has Kagome written under it, the second one is Kikyo who is holding a knife, and the last is Sango. To add to Kagome's mix of fright and disgust at Kikyo's poor drawing skills, on the back it says in bold red letters 'KILL'.  
  
"Something you find interesting?" Kikyo asks icily. Kagome gives a jump and drops the paper.  
  
"Why are you drawing poorly sketched pictures of us dying!" Kagome demands.  
  
"I want to post it in a children's school." Kikyo says sarcastically.  
  
"I don't think thats a good idea, its-" Kagome starts  
  
"Fool! It was sarcasm! Isn't it obvious I was plotting against you!"  
  
"Thats still not a good idea."  
  
Kikyo looks livid and flops onto her bed, "I'm going to bed!"  
  
11:07 p.m. in Rena's private room  
  
She is facing a camera, giving her first report.  
  
"Day 1. We have brought our test subjects into our environment. Cameras show they have not been coping well. Shippo wet his bed for the third time, then we had to burn his bed, resulting in him having to share a bed with Inuyasha. Inuyasha rolled over him, and our medical crew had to persuade Inuyasha to wake up by injecting a drug stimulant to wake him up. Of course, this drug has side-effects such as constipation, diarrhea, and speaking in tongues. We then had to bring him to a separate room when all the other men complained that they could not sleep. Back with the ladies, Sango amused herself by exploding a whole pack of soda cans. Kikyo is found floating above her bed, muttering about 'friggin walruses'. Kagome is quite irritated with Sango's soda can exploding obsession. All in all, this has been very entertaining to watch. From my point of view, anyways. Rena signing out."  
  
so whaddya think! please review. this was not that funny, but the following chapters will have a lot more humor! 


	2. Day 2

here is chappy 2! please remember to read and review!  
  
8:00 a.m. in the Dining room  
  
Everyone still looks tired as they eat breakfast. The only significant thing that happened was that Koga nearly choked on his fork and Rena had to perform the Heimlich Maneuver, to everyone's amusement.  
  
"Now into the living room." says the disgruntled Rena. She looks at them, in an irritated fashion, "Okay. Your goal is to get acquainted with modern technology. Especially you Koga, I saw those teethmarks you inflicted on the TV."  
  
"Why?" Naraku asks irratibly.  
  
"Because I said so." She snaps, and then adds slyly, "Unless you've forgotten the squirrels."  
  
So the day begins. Kagome is delighted to do this, considering she's been deprived of technology for so long. Everyone must watch TV for two hours. Inuyasha is convinced the TV is trying to assassinate him.  
  
"You want a piece of me, you friggin box!" Inuyasha yells as the others restrain him from smashing it to bits. After they calm the dog demon down, they watch a soap opera. Sesshomaru is in tears, sobbing, "Thats not who you really love! No, don't kiss him!" Leaving the others looking very disturbed.  
  
Koga is itching to bite the television, but Rena is watching him reproachfully. Kikyo is floating above them, with a bored expression. Miroku yawns and puts an arm around Sango. Cameras show him with his head in the toilet two minutes later. Naraku is glued to the TV, which is showing 'Sweet Home Alabama'  
  
10:09 a.m. in the Living Room  
  
Everyone is given an hour break. They all have interesting ways of spending it. Shippo is seen chasing his tail, Sesshomaru curling his eyelashes, and Koga chatting with Kagome. Inuyasha would stop Koga from talking to Kagome, but he is busy scalding himself with the coffee maker. Miroku still has his head stuck in the toilet. Kikyo is meditating and turning whoever annoys her into an avacado. Poor Sango learned the hard way.  
  
"Hey, has anyone seen Sango?" Kagome asks.  
  
"No, but I found this wonderful avacado for my avacado mask." Sesshomaru says delightfully.  
  
"I don't think so." Rena says and snatches the trembling avacado from Femmy boy. She's the only one who noticed Kikyo turn Sango into an avacado. Rena kicks Koga in the head for chewing her slippers.  
  
11:21 a.m. Game Room  
  
Miroku finally pulls his head out of the toilet and storms to Game Room.  
  
"Why is your head all wet?" Shippo asks curiously.  
  
Miroku tells Shippo to do something to himself that makes Rena hit the monk upside the head.  
  
"Now everyone, you can play with all the games we have for an hour." Rena says when she's done telling Miroku off.  
  
Sango is back in human form, and looks shiftily at Kikyo and Miroku. She finally settles down and plays with the pinball machine. Inuyasha is playing a video game and muttering loudly.  
  
"Take that, you stupid mushrooms!" Inuyasha yells, making everyone look at him oddly.  
  
"Yes, the lovebed." Miroku murmurs. He is playing Sims Hot Date.  
  
Rena finds Shippo crammed in the karaoke machine.  
  
Naraku is relieving his diarrhea in the bathroom. Sesshomaru is still upset over the avacado that could have been. Kikyo cursed the Karaoke machine into devouring anyone who turns it on.  
  
Koga is twitchy at not being able to chew anything, it turns out he has a new tooth growing in.  
  
1:15 p.m. Kitchen  
  
Its now lunchtime for the weary group. Rena is preparing pizza as the others wait. Sango is upset of the absence of soda cans.  
  
"Hurry up!" Inuyasha yells rudely.  
  
Rena turns to Inuyasha, who jumps back at the sight of her pizza sauce smattered face. She glowers, "I was considering using dog demon as a topping for the pizza, what do you think?" She is holding a large knife which Inuyasha is watching warily.  
  
"Er, that wouldn't taste too good." Inuyasha says nervously, still watching the knife.  
  
"Yeah, he's too hairy." Koga cackles and Inuyasha immediately unsheathes his Tetsusaiga.  
  
"Inuyasha! No disembowlment at the table!" Rena scolds.  
  
He grumbles and puts the sword away, muttering he's not that hairy.  
  
"Ok guys lets sit down." Kagome says and Inuyasha suddenly slams headfirst onto the floor.  
  
"Oh, I forgot about that..." Kagome says looking down at the irritated Inuyasha.  
  
"Yeah, easy thing to forget." Inuyasha grumbles and sits on a chair.  
  
"Can I have dead weeds on mine?" Kikyo requests, earning disturbed looks from everyone.  
  
"Anchovies for me." Miroku says.  
  
"Alright, no toppings, just plain cheese pizza." Rena says.  
  
Everyone digs in and Sesshomaru immediately spits his pizza out, "This tastes horrible, did you empty the toilet contents into this!"  
  
Rena's lower lip quivers and she suddenly bursts into tears, leaving everyone looking awkwardly at her. She sobs, "I try and I try, and this is what I get for it! Now if you don't mind, I'm going to miserably cry in my room until someone comes get me and or shoves Sesshomaru into a trash can!" With that said, she runs off to her room, still sobbing hysterically.  
  
"Wow." Naraku says after Rena's outburst.  
  
"I think you should go apologize." Kagome says to Sesshomaru.  
  
"Why?" Sesshomaru says thickly with his mouth full of pizza.  
  
"If that pizza's so horrible why're you still eating it?" Shippo inquires.  
  
"Thats why I like the pizza. Toilet is my favorite flavor." Sesshomaru says, leaving everyone too incensed to speak.  
  
2:05 p.m.  
  
Rena is still heard sobbing in her room and the others are quite bored since Rena has the keys to all the rooms, including the bathrooms.  
  
2:45 p.m.  
  
"I need to go piss bad!" Inuyasha says in frustration as he hops around.  
  
"And I need to take my beauty nap." Sesshomaru sighs.  
  
"Then go apologize to Rena!" Kagome says in exasperation.  
  
"Shush girl. Wait, I have an idea! I can apologize to Rena!" Sesshomaru declares. Everyone's faces vault. Then, doubt enters his voice, "Why should I apologize to anyone?"  
  
"Cause you're a selfish bastard." Kikyo says simply.  
  
Sesshomaru didn't seem to hear, considering that he is watching his soap operas again.  
  
3:15 pm  
  
After listening to Inuyasha saying he needs to piss for a half hour, Kagome, Kikyo, Sango, Shippo, Koga, Miroku, and Naraku come to an unanamious decision. Sesshomaru finds himself being carried off by everyone.  
  
"Sorry Sesshomaru, its either you or Inuyasha's bladder." Miroku says as Sesshomaru tries to get away.  
  
They throw him headfirst into a trash can, "Lets burn him!" Naraku suggests.  
  
"Thats a bit much." Kagome says, "But at least Rena will stop crying."  
  
Shippo is sent to Rena's room to deliver the news, "Rena? Are you there?" No response. He tries again, "Rena! Inuyasha really needs to pee! RENA!" Shippo opens the door to see her lying eaglespread on the ground, eyes wide and unblinking. He timidly prods her, "Rena?" He yelps when he realizes she's dead.  
  
"AAH! RENA'S DEAD!" Shippo yells balistically as he charges into Inuyasha.  
  
"Does that mean I never can go to the bathroom?" Inuyasha asks fearfully.  
  
Everyone suddenly becomes very quiet, except for Sesshomaru and Naraku, who are swapping make up tips.  
  
"And always remember to powder your neck..." Sesshomaru starts, but then trails off when he sees everyone glaring at him.  
  
"How'd you get out of the trash can?" Sango demands.  
  
"Did you say Rena's snuffed it?" Kagome asked.  
  
Shippo nodded. There is a deep silence, punctuated by Koga loudly chewing the leg of the dining table.  
  
"Why so quiet?" Rena asks as she enters the kitchen.  
  
"You're alive!" Koga says through a mouthful of wood.  
  
Rena breaks out in laughter, "Yeah, and you shoulda seen your face Shippo! You were all waa!" She imitates Shippo flailing around. Shippo sulks off.  
  
"Now Inuyasha, you said you needed the bathroom?" Rena says.  
  
"Yeah-" Inuyasha starts, but then stops for a second, "Never mind."  
  
Everyone avoids Inuyasha for the rest of the day.  
  
5:30 pm rec room  
  
Inuyasha still has the revolting smell of poop and everyone has kept a two yard radius from him.  
  
"Still don't get the what the frigging problem is." Inuyasha muttered after Kagome ran away from him, holding her nose, when he approached her.  
  
Koga is happily chewing a sofa cushion while Shippo still sulks in the corner. Naraku and Sesshomaru, to everyone's irritation, are in the bathroom, applying Ginger Blush cream, and have spent over an hour in there.  
  
Kikyo has turned the TV into biting anyone who has turned it on, and Inuyasha says he has proof that the television is trying to kill him. Kagome is trying to stop Sango from exploding a soda can in Rena's face, who is furious that Koga is still chewing random things, including Rena's foot, which he swears he thought was a wooden block, only irritating Rena even more.  
  
Miroku is chatting online with AIM, saying to random women he's a single handsome rich millionaire.  
  
Rena then says, "Hey Miroku, half the women online are really transvetites."  
  
"Whats a transvetite?" (author- dunno if transvestites existed in the feudal era) Miroku asks, puzzled.  
  
Rena whispers the meaning in his ear, and he turns pale and says he needs to make tea and doesn't come back for an hour.  
  
Naraku puts all of the silverware into the microwave, in an attempt to dry them after he's washed them.  
  
BOOM! A huge explosion is heard from the kitchen and Rena suddenly launches into a tirade of swearwords and curses.  
  
"What the @#!% I swear, I'll %$@& straight to $#*%" Rena storms on and Kagome covers Shippo's ears.  
  
"Looks like you have competition." Koga says to Inuyasha.  
  
Rena ran down to the kitchen, to see Naraku lying on his back with a dazed expression on the ash covered floor. Remnants of the microwave are everywhere. A muscle twitches on Rena's face, and her fists are clenching and unclenching as if she's itching to strangle him.  
  
"Er, what really happened..." Naraku begins a long winded explanation about Harry Potter showing up and trying to bite him, and something about a reverse dimension which turns him into a walrus, and it takes a few hours to finish his tale, so everyone has fallen asleep. Rena is sleeping in the ground and Naraku tiptoes past the sleeping figures.  
  
9:05 pm men's dorm  
  
Naraku is talking to Koga about becoming a woman and Koga responds, "You're not already a woman?" Koga is startled by this news and goes off to think.  
  
Inuyasha is perplexedly observing Sesshomaru's mascara. In the end, he ends up swallowing the contents and Sesshomaru bursts into furious tears.  
  
Shippo is chuntering under his breath that squirrels aren't evil, just misunderstood. Miroku is- hey, where is Miroku? Cameras scan the whole dorm for the houshi sama, who is undetected.  
  
"Red alert! Red alert!" A computerized voice goes off, startling everyone, including the women. They all rushed into the hall to see Rena pacing around, wringing her hands.  
  
"Guys. Miroku has somehow broken out of his room and is loose in the area." Rena said anxiously, "We have to spread out and find him!"  
  
Everyone is running around calling for Miroku.  
  
"Hey, Koga, what are you doing?" Miroku inquires, appearing out of nowhere.  
  
"Looking for Miroku. Do you mind?" Koga says as he looks under the table.  
  
"Oh. Can I help?"  
  
"Shut up Miroku." Suddenly, Koga's eyes widen and then says slowly, "Wait, you're Miroku."  
  
Sudden realization spreads across Miroku's face, "Yeah, I am." They go off to find the rest of the group.  
  
"Where the hell were you!" Rena yells furiously.  
  
"I was sleeping in the bathtub." Miroku says in confusion, "Is that against the law?"  
  
"Now it is." Rena says grumpily, "Get back in bed!"  
  
The cast goes back to bed, shooting dark looks at Miroku.  
  
Inuyasha eats Sesshomaru's Berry Cherry lipstick for a bedtime snack and goes to bed.  
  
yeah, not that great, but i'm suffering writer's block. but please review! 


End file.
